We have opened our blog to our Vineyard key leaders to give them an opportunity to share what God has placed on their hearts. This week, Deral Carson, who co-leads the Marriage Ministry with his wife Leslee, asks us, ‘Where is your marriage going?’
We all know God has a plan for the “individual”, but do we think in terms of the plan that God has for us, as a “couple”?
God clearly told us in Genesis 1:27 and 28 that we become “one flesh” when we are united in marriage. We become more than two people joined together—we become one. Seeing forward through one set of eyes; hearing with one set of ears. Does that sound like your marriage?
At startmarriageright.com, Noelene Curry had this to say about her marriage:
“My husband married a broken and damaged woman. I had no sense of self-worth, I struggled with feelings of inadequacy and doubts and had built so many barriers around myself for fear of being hurt I am utterly amazed that he even took the time to get to know me, never mind marry me!
We have been married for 23 years now and a few years ago I asked him what he had seen in me that made him want to marry me. His answer shocked me. He said he had seen a wholeness in me. I was a broken person and yet God gave him this image, this vision of wholeness and through the years, because of his love and the fact that he has always treated me as a whole person, I have been able to grow into wholeness. Mind you I am still a work in progress!”
Aren’t we all! Since God made us as couples into “one flesh”, we can make the jump to scriptures that speak to the singular. Let’s see what applies.
God’s vision for marriage is for the marriage to be a blessed one.
His vision is for a husband and a wife to become one flesh. To live so closely in harmony with each other that there can be no division between them.
God says in His Word “where there is no vision, the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18) We can then say concerning a married couple, that where there is vision, the couple shall flourish! Is it any wonder why couples that do not have a mutual godly vision for their marriage fall apart?
But there needs to be more. We become one, yet God can exist square in the center of our marriages. Since God created this concept of marriage, then a marriage truly cannot survive without God in the center of it. Marriage is far more spiritual than ceremonial. It’s much more God-entangled than a vow can unite. Governments can attempt to claim ownership of marriage by redefining and even licensing it. Nonetheless, God’s sovereignty lays claim to marriage.
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12) Therefore, the chord of marriage is made up of three strands – the husband, the wife and God. God is in your marriage makes it unbreakable—if both are willing to trust him. Doesn’t that give you easing peace and confidence? God in the center and a vision for your marriage—those are the keys.
God’s vision for every couple is to have a compass; a direction in which to move forward together. Couples really can move forward with purpose and direction. They can do it in harmony. They just have to find what God wants with them together and then press on—hand-in-hand.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
So, I’ll leave the reader with a few questions to ponder:
1. Do you and your spouse have a vision written down for your marriage?
2. When is the last time you and your spouse discussed the vision God has for your marriage? (Ultimately, it should be ongoing, evolving)
3. Where do you see yourselves as a couple 5 years from now?