Week two of Lent, and it’s getting easier. I did have a Thursday breakdown last week (a migraine and dizziness led to one Werther’s, which then turned into ten), but since that day I seem to crave the things that I’ve given up a little less. And the big thing is that I feel less resentment at the fact that I am supposed to be avoiding things that I want (save the time yesterday when I told Rose Nicol that she was a terrible person for telling me that fruit snacks were sweets – I didn’t eat them).
I’ve acknowledged something about myself that I’ve really known all along, and I think that’s what’s made it a bit easier. It’s not that I crave sweets or fast food; I’m perfectly happy eating home cooking and fruit instead of cookies (in fact, my sweet tooth has almost gone away in my middle aged-ness). It’s that I absolutely hate the fact that my options have been taken away. I hate the fact that if I want those chicken nuggets I can’t have them. That I can’t indulge my every whim (even though I wasn’t that indulgent to begin with). Again, I’m spoiled and I want what I want when I want it.
So now the question becomes how do I use this information to make a transformative change in my life? What does this tell me about the bigger picture: what do I need to change or add into my life or deal with in regards to my desire to be completely self-indulgent? And if I am able to let go of the self-indulgence what will that mean in the future. What do I replace it with that will be more positive and positively affect those around me?
Lent isn’t just a 40 day exercise in will-power. It is an opportunity for transformation through the power of Jesus Christ. It is a time to change our patterns in the way we live our lives, approach our days, and love the people around us. It is a time to give up those things that are hampering us in our walk with Christ and to identify the deeper meaning behind those crutches that we grab onto to get through our days. In my case, it’s about recognizing my want of control and self-indulgence. What does it mean for you?